Thursday, December 20, 2018

Book Bosomed Book Blog's Golden Treats of 2018

📚 Another reading year nears to a close, and it's time to reflect on the romance releases of the past twelve months. 

It's been a tough year for romance books though in many ways. A lot of readers were frustrated with the selections. And then there was...ahem...ah...a lot of corruption.😲 There’s no point dancing around it. Let’s just throw it out on the table and talk about it. This year has seen social media blow up with news of trademark trolling, book stuffing, trend manufacturing, reader bullying, and review tampering. I’ve read about and seen personally so many scams it makes me really disappointed in a community that should know better. 

Some months back, I even had a troll try to tell me that I should stop reading contemporary romance because based on my three-something star average for reviews, I must not enjoy it very much! (For the record, per Goodreads's Year in Books, it's 3.6.)

I rolled my eyes at her naivety because if you’re writing reviews for everything you read, realistically and statistically you’re going to have things you love😍, hate😬, like😊, and just feel kind meh😔 about.  And when you average that all together, you’re probably gonna come out in the middle. In contrast, this troll’s average was about as close to five stars as you can get. She was either holding back the lesser ones or tossing out 5 stars like they were cheap candy 🍬on Halloween night. 

But my five stars are more like golden 🍫 Wonka bars. Because you don’t get one every time, they’re special. And that’s how I view the books on this list. 💖

Don't let the titles mislead you.😉 These romantic heroes and heroines might be untrainable, might be outcasts, might make no apologies, might be a little buzzed, might lick pickles; and might obsess about their dick; but they make a great romantic escapes that will put a smile on your face! They are also positive presentations of love, which is the whole point of the romance genre.

So here’s the romance stories that really spoke to my sweet tooth.
😉  These titles are the ones that when I peeled back the the wrapper (aka the cover), I found a delicious winner.

Your Golden Reads Await You....
Each contains:
☑ Quality Ingredients (themes & messages present a positive depiction of love)
☑ Fresh Treats/No Stale Candy (stories are original & feel relevant to the time)
☑ Rich Chocolate (the characters and romantic elements have depth)
☑ Tasty Flavor (sweet and filling yet leaves you craving more!)

by Jamie Schlosser
"Being turned-on was way better than having a panic attack, and I was fully prepared to keep her in a constant state of frustration if I had to."
He's a former reality star who can't shake his bad rep. She's a talent show dog trainer who believes you can teach an old dog new tricks. This underdog  just needs a little love.

Find out more: BOOK REVIEW
Pickle Licker
by Allie Gail
“‘She hasn’t said two words to me in three weeks and all of a sudden she’s deep-throating my pickle.’”
She can't believe his nerve. He can't keep his hands off her food....till she licks it. Then he can't keep his hands off her! Break out the mistletoe fairies and pickle ornaments (yes they really do exist) to celebrate the holidays 'goofy Christmas romance' style. 

Whiskey Dick
by Ryan Ringbloom
“‘One room, one bed, condoms.’”
He has a not so small fear of flying. She has a not so small fear of flying too. Stranded at the airport the solution seems  simple, but it's far more complicated.  This one night stand gone oh so wrong is a long road to something bigger. Buckle up! It's a hilariously crazy ride...

by Jamie Schlosser
“The wooing doesn’t end once you’ve got the girl; then you have to keep her.”
He the quiet student, bullied because of a bum leg. She hangs with the popular kids even though she doesn't fit the mold. They might initially think it's unrequited, but first love—first everything has never been so hot!

Find out more: BOOK REVIEW
Without Apology
by Aubrey Bondurant
“It was amazing how much more quickly a twenty-five hour ride went when you spent most of it having sex….I was sure Simon had been inside me in every single state we’d driven through.”
He's unapologetic at his job. She's up for a promotion in the company he's about to gut. Office politics gets dicier when these two 'quite singles' can't resist the attraction. 

Find out more: BOOK REVIEW

His Mimosa
by Jamie Schlosser
“‘The truth is, I’ve known you for less than two hours and you’re already one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met.’”
She's a glass-is-half-full cocktail waitress. He's a glass-is-half-empty skeptic of love. It was only supposed to be a Vegas fling, but it was something so much more...

Find out more:  BOOK REVIEW
💕 To the authors who produced these fabulous romances—thank you for writing them!

🎅 And to everyone—have a happy & safe holiday season filled with love!

Missed the Previous Years' Lists? 
Have No Fear; They're Right Here; 
Just Click on the Year!

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

REVIEW/RELEASE BLITZ: Pickle Licker by Allie Gail

Genre: Romantic Comedy

He had it. I wanted it.

And that's how it ended up in my mouth.
Oh, get your mind out of the gutter, will you? I'm not talking about THAT!
All I did was give it a little lick. Okay, fine, I may have shoved the whole thing in my face. Not my finest moment, but hey, the guy deserved it. At least now Saul Stryker knows I exist.
Why is he always hanging around here anyway? Smelling like bottled sin, looking way too hot while he casually raids my fridge. Just because his business partner is my roommate, Stryker acts like he owns the place. Well, he can't just help himself to whatever he wants, whenever he wants it!
So what am I, the invisible girl?
That's it – bring on the coal, I'm done being nice!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

For f***'s sake, it was just a pickle!

Why is this chick going all Bad Santa on me? One minute I'm having lunch with Perry and next thing I know, his weirdo roommate is hijacking my kosher dill and slurping on it like a demented bloodhound.
Is it wrong that I may have been slightly turned on by the way she was deep-throating that thing?
This could get interesting. Because now I'm looking beyond the berets, Uggs and tacky Christmas sweaters, and noticing Jayne Pritchett for the first time.
I gotta say, I'm liking what I'm seeing.
And now all I want is for the little pickle licker to notice me.

Contains sexual situations (obviously), adult language (naturally), and possibly a few inappropriate references to garden vegetables. 
Just sayin'.

~Book Review~
4.75 Stars

Saul Stryker, 26, hasn’t really noticed his co-worker/buddy’s roommate, Jayne Pritchett, 23, till she makes quite an impression on him with his pickle. Well actually it’s her pickle, and she deems him a pilfering pickle pirate.
“‘She hasn’t said two words to me in three weeks and all of a sudden she’s deep-throating my pickle.’”
This is a funny, steamy, low angst holiday read. Totally what I was looking for! Jayne is spunky, and holds her own with Saul and her roommate Perry, who incidentally have some good bromance banter with each other.
“‘Does your ass ever get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?’”
Saul kept me guessing a bit at first; I couldn’t always be sure when he was messing with Jayne or if it was just his personality. He was quite unfiltered, which led to plenty of innuendo which led to hot sexy times.
“‘You asked me to use my imagination….Come home with me tonight and I’ll show you just how imaginative I can be.’”
Any concerns I had about this dirty-talker’s reputation were put at ease when he rolled off with:
“…Or maybe she’s under the impression that I’m the type to get busy with any chick who drops her panties. Hell no, I’m a little more discriminating than that. I have more respect for my body than to stick my pecker someplace that everyone else has been.”
Then I breathed another sigh of relief when he divulged:
“I have nothing to hide. What you see is what you get—I make no pretenses about who I am.”
How refreshing it always is to find straightforward, sensible, non-broken singles with chemistry and banter. It was fun and endearing watching Saul fall all in for Jayne. He was definitely a keeper. Goofy Christmas romances rule!

Told via Jayne and Saul’s alternating first person POV, the characters are colorful and quirky and yet most of them felt down-to-Earth and normal at the same time. In fact, some serious props to Saul in regards to Lenny (and to Jayne in regards to Monroe). Those pissers would have seriously tried my patience—as in I wouldn’t have been nearly as nice with either of them. Marnie didn’t win any points with me either. Even as a mom myself (and maybe because I’m a mom), I would have been giving her some serious stink eye. 

I wish there would have been an epilogue but per the author’s note at the end, I can understand why there might not have been time. In fact, I have to say kudos to her for getting this book finished after her real-life ordeal this fall. So often we see the destruction of a hurricane on TV, but we don’t get to see the human element and her note is a good reminder of how it affects real lives. 

I’d definitely be game for reading future holiday adventures of this pair. I can certainly see the potential for more.

When I wake up Sunday morning, I am stunned to find the kitchen fully stocked with enough groceries to last for a month.
And a very large cucumber strategically placed on the counter, with a handwritten note tucked beneath it.
Found you a new boyfriend since I so tactlessly consumed your last one. Sorry about that. If I'd known you were vegisexual, I never would have done it. Say hello to Francois. The cucumber, as you know, is a very versatile vegetable and is not limited to fellatio so please feel free to explore all your options. Francois has already assured me that he is fully on board with whatever kinky fuckery you're into. Should be a match made in heaven. Safe sex, you two!
My mouth drops open.
Oh, he's dead meat.
Clutching the offending object in my hand, I make a beeline toward the studio so I can tell that smartass just what he can do with his stupid cucumber. I'm assuming they must be in there, even though Perry doesn't tend to stream on Sundays. They're probably working on their super-secret project, whatever it is.
Without bothering to knock, I fling the door open so hard it bounces off the wall. Yep, there they are. Both of them.
Waving the cuke in the air, I shout at Saul, “You pig! I know you are not seriously suggesting that I stick produce up my vagina! What's wrong with you? Do you shove random vegetables up your ass?”
They swivel around in their chairs, looking startled. And that's when I realize, with a horrible sinking feeling, that they're wearing their headphones.
Oh, God. Oh-h-h God. Please tell me that doesn't mean what I think it means.
Biting back grins, they exchange wary glances. Perry is the first to speak. And when he does, I want to crawl in a hole and pull the dirt in over me.
“Uh, Jayne...would you care to say hello to our viewers?”
Oh. My. Gawd!
Panicking, I do the only thing that comes to mind.
I throw the cucumber and run away, shrieking.

Born and raised in rural Alabama, Allie Gail currently resides in sunny Florida with her very own blue-eyed Prince Charming and a hyperactive hamster named Toot-Toot. Always an avid reader, she took to her keyboard on a whim in 2012 and that was the last anyone ever saw of her. (Just kidding – I did venture out of the house that one time, but only because I was tricked into it. Stupid hurricane.)
Her genre of choice is romance, featuring goofy but headstrong heroines and the sexy, snarky men who love them. When she isn't obsessively typing, deleting, and re-typing the same sentence over and over, Allie can usually be found snuggled up to her hubby watching B-movie horror, helping out with the family business or playing online RPG games while indulging her hopeless sugar addiction.
You can also find her on Facebook, so stop by and say hello. She would love to hear from you!


Thursday, December 13, 2018

REVIEW/RELEASE BLITZ: Untrainable by Jamie Schlosser

Genre: Romantic Comedy


It doesn’t take much to become the laughing stock of reality television. Just ask Theodore “Theo-Dog” Legend. Once you’ve pissed on a fire hydrant in front of the paparazzi, no one ever lets you forget it.

Hadley Holiday is on her way to being America’s sweetheart, thanks to her dog training routine on a national talent show. Although she didn’t win first prize, she snagged Theo’s attention and he’ll do just about anything to make her his—even if it means being the butt of everyone’s joke once again.

Hadley wants a career in showbiz. Theo needs to get rid of that doggone nickname—pun intended. Pairing the two together on a new show sounds like a disaster waiting to happen... or it could be the best thing that’s ever happened to them.

~Book Review~
4.75 Stars

Theo Legend, 24, has a tabloid bad rep and a crush on an up-and-coming talent show star. 
Hadley Holiday, 22, has found that the limelight on her dog training routine is more career inspiring than accounting, but will she still feel the same way when she sees the destructive side of the paparazzi?

Unlike so many contemporary romances that start out with the heroine down on her luck, here we find the hero down and out.  Theo’s practically broke and definitely lonely, but he isn’t broken and the tone is never angsty; it’s just heartwarming and in a place or two heartbreaking, but that just makes you root all the more for Theo to go from underdog to top dog. And the romance leads the way.
“Years from now, I’d be able to pinpoint the exact moment I lost my heart completely for the first time. Hopefully the only time, if I had anything to say about it.” —Theo
Theo is sweet, flirty, dedicated, and unfiltered.  It was easy to see why Hadley was attracted to him too.
“Being turned-on was way better than having a panic attack, and I was fully prepared to keep her in a constant state of frustration if I had to.” —Theo
Their entertaining banner flowed smoothly:
“My cock twitched three times in quick succession, her close proximity causing an ill-timed happy dance in my pants.” —Theo
“For the sake of my sanity, I really hoped he was planning to wear jeans for the show. And maybe some underwear with crotch-confining support. Like a girdle, but for penises.” —Hadley
And when it came time for their sexy times they left any cheesy lines behind as the writing captured the tenderness between them alongside some seriously steamy moments and moves.  

This is romance through and through. Theo and Hadley complement each other well, an important quality to a lasting relationship. They really did bring out the best in each other and knew how to inspire one another.
 “My entire life, I’d been shown greed and selfishness. It was familiar to me. It was what I knew. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. I didn’t understand this. Sacrificing so much without something to gain was unfathomable in the world I grew up in.” —Theo
Told via their dual, alternating first person POV, these little touches of humanity and moments of joy not only added substance to the story, but also make it a perfect feel-good holiday romance. I usually don’t care to read about “celebrities” but Theo and Hadley were such real people that it was easy to relate to them.

Speaking of Hadley, she’s sweet and genuine, and I seriously appreciated how she stood up for herself and took charge when she needed to. But her taste in Christmas music? *shakes head, closes eyes, and tries to pretend I didn’t read that*

Now her parents and their Christmas traditions are a riot! I’d watch a reality show of them and I don’t even watch reality TV. Speaking of future shows…I mean books, I’m definitely interested in Aiden’s but also can’t help but hope that Hadley and Theo get the opportunity to meet Estelle and Emery [from Untamable]at some point.  Till then, this is definitely going in my re-read pile. Romance reading is about relaxing and escaping, and this tale accomplishes just that.

Free in Kindle Unlimited

“Okay. Change of plans—pie first, cleaning later. I get weepy when I’m hanky.”

“Hanky?” Theo followed me to the kitchen.

“It’s a portmanteau.” Walking over to the table, I removed the foil from the dish. Steam billowed up, carrying the heavenly scent of apples and cinnamon with it.

“I’m sorry, a what?” Sounding utterly confused, Theo went over to a small white coffee maker next to the sink and punched a button. It sputtered for a few seconds before the aroma filled the room.

He grabbed two mismatching mugs from the cabinet. Setting them down, he leaned back against the counter while he waited for me to explain.

“Blending two words to make one,” I said. “Hungry and cranky equals hanky.”

“Isn’t the term ‘hangry?’”

“No, I don’t think that fits. I don’t get mad,” I clarified. “Just irritable.”

“It’s kinda like my nickname, huh? Putting Theodore and dog together.”

“Yeah, kind of like that.” I grimaced because he obviously wasn’t a fan of the combination. “I’m sure whoever came up with that thought they were being very clever.”

“They probably got promoted.”


“Well, I’m feeling mighty humpy myself.” When he said the word ‘humpy’, I could’ve sworn I saw his pelvis do a slight thrust.

I almost fell over. “Excuse me?”

He sent me a grin that did funny things to my stomach. “Portmanteau. Hungry and grumpy. Humpy.”

That was inappropriate but also correct. I couldn’t knock him for coming up with his own word, even if it did draw my attention to his groin.

I tried to force myself to look away from his lower half, but it was really difficult.

Because now that I wasn’t scrutinizing his living quarters, my thoughts went elsewhere: straight to the gutter.

The gray fabric of his pants stretched over his crotch, and he probably wasn’t wearing underwear because I could see a very distinct outline of his dick.

I didn’t mean to stare at it, but it was just right there. Out in the open. And alarmingly large. It was like spotting a rare animal in the wild. The thing practically needed its own Australian accented voiceover.

Inexperienced as I was when it came to actual sex, I wasn’t completely innocent. I knew what a semi-erect penis looked like. The length of it rested against his thigh and the definition of the thick head was impressive.

I swallowed hard.

“Hey.” Theo’s voice startled me, and my eyes snapped up to his.

My cheeks were on fire. I’d been caught, and I wanted nothing more than to sink under the table and hide.

“Hi,” I squeaked, lowering myself into the chair.

“Let’s just blame the rough start to the day on low blood sugar. Deal?”

Well, that wasn’t what I’d expected him to say, but it was a lot better than him calling me out for eye-balling his junk.

“Deal,” I responded. Then for my own benefit, I added the reminder, “I’m looking forward to being coworkers and friends.”

His left eyebrow arched on the word ‘friends.’

Dang it. Maybe he did see me checking him out after all.

For the sake of my sanity, I really hoped he was planning to wear jeans for the show. And maybe some underwear with crotch-confining support. Like a girdle, but for penises.

Jamie Schlosser grew up on a farm in Illinois surrounded by cornfields. Although she no longer lives in the country, her dream is to return to rural living someday. As a stay-at-home mom, she spends most of her days running back and forth between her two wonderful kids and her laptop. She loves her family, iced coffee, and happily-ever-afters.