~Synopsis~
@TheSpencerRyan exudes confidence,
I mean, have you seen him???
His dark good looks and tattooed muscled perfection are too much.
He's hot. Lickably hot.
And he has a way with words that leaves me breathless.
But cocky doesn't even cover it,
this guy is so arrogant you have to fight back.
But God he's so lickable!
The thing is though,
he looks like sex but he'll taste like jackass.
@OMGJazzyP is a sexy, annoying ball of rage in fuck-me heels
and she hates me.
Although her nipples would tend to disagree.
It's a deadly combination.
She’s a princess.
And when I say princess, I mean intolerable, spoiled brat with a tiara.
Sure she's got that curvaceous goddess thing going on,
but that mouth of hers...
God it needs something in it to shut it up.
#GotJustTheThingRightHere
This is not your average British romance.
It's a tale of high heels, hot tattooed bad boys and
sex oranges, all wrapped up in a coating of chocolate.
It's 'love' in a social media world,
where not everyone is who they seem
and where some people’s bios should carry a warning.
#JustSayin
~Book Review~
4.75 Stars
Spencer Ryan aka @TheSpencerRyan
is social media man-whore with a fondness for selfies and a fetish for women’s shoes.
He’s a pretty self-absorbed single guy just looking for some fun.
Jasmine Parker
aka @OMGJazzyP or Jazz or “Princess” is in need of a time-out to regroup after
her professional life turns to disarray.
Their worlds
collide both in the virtual world and in the real world which sets the stage
for some hilarious moments as well as a pretty sweet and extremely hot and dirty
story. This is a tale of fantasies vs.
realities and finding the true person beneath the surface. It’s kinda like the 2015
version of “You’ve Got Mail” for us smut-lovers if you will ;-)
Though it took
me just a tad to get into it, once their Twitter banter began I was hooked and
it became an addicting read that I couldn’t put down! I enjoyed Spencer and
Jazz as well as the supporting characters of Mags and Will (side note: I hope
they get their own story). Spencer and Jazz are perfect examples of characters
that grow and evolve so when the story nears its finish, you are left with a
smile on your face. There’s no
unnecessary drama. Everything that happens is for fun or to fuel the character
development. And as this fiesty duo
wrestled with their feelings of lust and love, it was refreshing that the
romance stayed focused on each other as they found their way.
Spencer
initially comes off as a jerk, but there are sufficient hints that there’s more
beyond the surface and it’s those moments where his vulnerability slips through
that makes him an endearing character.
“Spencer Ryan is not a man you fall in love with. He’s a man who can rock your world as long as you can resist the urge to stab him. And when the urge finally gets too much, you walk away before you get yourself a criminal record.”
Spencer and
Jazz’s banter is truly entertaining, providing the page-turning quality of the
book.
“‛Face it, Princess, my biggest crime today was making you come too hard…Guilty as charged.’”
This is a great
love/hate relationship where the dirty talk is phenomenal. Meanwhile, I loved how Jazz was such a strong
female character, and I laughed out loud at her attempts to get the upper hand. Their tricks and antics with each other made
this a fun erotic romantic comedy that kept the story fresh and light-hearted.
Oh and I may never look at a tray of chocolate truffles the same way again. ;-) #justsayin
Oh and I may never look at a tray of chocolate truffles the same way again. ;-) #justsayin
#oneclick
#mustread #hotdirtytalker
~Character Interview~
Welcome Spencer and Jazz! Great to have you stop by. Let's have a little fun today!
Q1. Since your relationship is a product of social media what Hashtag would you use to describe your last sexual encounter together?
Spencer: #Alfresco
Jazz: #Freezing
Q2. Spencer, if you got a new tattoo
to represent your relationship with Jazz, what would it be?
A viper...I'm
kidding! *winks* Probably a #, that would be quite representative wouldn't it?
Maybe I should get it.
(Interviewer: We'll be waiting for the selfie with that one)
(Interviewer: We'll be waiting for the selfie with that one)
Q3. Jazz, if you designed a chocolate
treat in honor of Spencer, describe the recipe.
Orange, naturally.
Then there would have to be some spice. Star anise, cinnamon, cloves. Some
cinnamon liqueur, maybe? Wrapped in dark chocolate. And I think it would have
to be called the Sex Orange
Q4. You have one hour alone together
in a shoe store; detail the adventure in 140 characters or less each.
Spencer: You try on heels until I can’t take
anymore and bend you over that little stool to fuck you, holding your ankles up
so the heels dig in #Win
Jazz: It’s just too
easy to get you to do what I want. Just strut around in some shoes and bam!
P.S. We’re gonna have to pay for that last pair
Q5. Lastly, for the both of you,
leave us with one round of Two Truths and a Lie to keep readers (or each other)
guessing. ;-)
Jazz:
I own more pairs of
shoes than I do knickers
I can do the splits
He thinks he was my
first online encounter
Spencer: Princess,
you suck at this game, it's not supposed to be obvious which is the lie.
Jazz: I'm better at
this game than you think Spencer. You think on that a while.
Spencer: Wait,
what?
Jazz: Your turn *smiles
sweetly*
Spencer: *Frowns*
This game sucks.
Jazz: Don't be a
baby, just get on with it.
Spencer: FINE
I got my first
tattoo while blind drunk in Thailand. I have no idea what it says.
I took my driving
test seven times.
SHE would be
surprised to know how much I really care.
Jazz: Aww, that's
so sweet!
Spencer:*Smirks*
Yeah...or not...
Jazz: *Frowns* Hang
on...
Spencer: Not such a
fan of the sucky game now are you? *Pops my collar*
Time to close the interview before a lovers quarrel erupts. A big thanks to Spencer and Jazz...and Kerry Heavens!
Time to close the interview before a lovers quarrel erupts. A big thanks to Spencer and Jazz...and Kerry Heavens!
The sight and smell that greets me is just the same as it was yesterday. Bowls and utensils everywhere; and an incredible smell of chocolate and trays with neat lines of rolled truffles. Except today, I notice it. How did I miss all this crap yesterday, chocolate usually comes above everything!
Oh, but yesterday I was on a mission.
Drooling, I head around the counter and pick up a ball of chocolate from one of the trays, savouring it as the flavours explode in my mouth. Dark chocolate with some kind of boozy fruit flavour. God, it’s good.
And she did this?
She’s dangerous.
A woman who looks like her, thinks like her, wears those shoes, gives me shit and makes stuff like this, is a danger.
If I had a heart, I’d be falling in love.
I come to a big bowl of soft looking chocolate goo with a spatula sitting in it. I dip my finger in the gooey goodness and lift it to my mouth.
Holy hell! That is fucking amazing. It’s ginger and dark chocolate with some alcohol. Damn. I want to put my face in the bowl. I glance around, then shrug. Lifting the spatula out, with a decent scoop, I lean against the counter and take a good long lick.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she barks as she comes into the kitchen.
“Just having a taste, Princess,” I reply, turning to let her see me take another lick.
She storms over, trying to grab the spatula out of my hand. Good luck with that sweetheart, this is me and chocolate. You ain’t getting it back.
“You can’t just wander in here whenever you feel like it.”
“The door was open.”
“Give that back!” she demands, catching hold of it. For a second we both pull at it, but then I see an opportunity and let go. Chocolate splatters her face, neck and chest and stops her dead in her tracks.
I choke on a laugh.
She looks at me, mouth open, “You did that on purpose!”
I shrug.
She glances down at the mess on her chest and my eyes follow, locking in on her begging nipples, visible through her dress. She looks embarrassed.
“It’s ok, Princess, I know they like me even if you don’t. Happens whenever I’m around.”
“It does not!”
“Mmmm-ok.”
I step closer. She backs off, but I catch her arm and pull her close.
“What are you doing?” she gasps.
“I don’t waste chocolate,” I reply softly and then lean in and swipe my tongue over her temple.
She wriggles, but it’s a weak effort. “Get off me,” she demands.
“Hold still, Princess, it's all over you.” I take another lick at her cheek and move down to her neck.
“Ok, that’s enough,” she snaps, her breath catching in her throat as I suck in her earlobe.
I lick her neck just below her ear even though there’s no chocolate there and the way her head falls slightly back in surrender makes me swallow hard. “It’s never enough,” I murmur.
What the f*ck?
I shake the sappy shit out of my head before I grow a vagina, and pluck the spatula out of her hand, painting a trail down her cleavage. Dropping the spatula on the floor, I grab her by the arse and lift her so that I can lick it all off. She yelps and struggles and I plonk her down on the kitchen counter, leaning forward and feasting on the stripe I painted between her breasts. Her dress is ruined, shame, I quite liked it.
~Kerry Heavens~
Terrible wife
Mediocre mother
Appalling housewife
Fashion graduate
Wedding co-ordinator
Sex toy salesperson
Shop manager
Designer
Font collector
Romance addict
Fancier of nice men
Ok, fancier of almost all men
Awesome cupcake baker
Incessant singer
Film buff
Friend
Writer
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