Thursday, August 10, 2017

RELEASE BLITZ: Food Fight by T. Torrid & Heather Ohhh

Series: Strip Mall Duology #1
Genre: Eroticomedy (Erotica/Romantic Comedy)

~Blurb~

FOOD FIGHT is the first book in a new eroticomedy duology.
Each book in the Strip Mall series contains two separate stories from the same universe. No cliffhangers... just a lot of laughs and some really hot sex!

BANANAS AND DONUTS: It's a food fight of epic proportions when this not-so-sweet baker gets her hands on a gorgeous grocer's goods.

BAGELS AND BRATS: A buff butcher bites off more than he can chew when he "meats" the vegan vixen next door.

*Intended for immature audiences 18+


~Book Review~

Double DNF

“Bananas and Donuts”
The hero (Jesse) is a manwhore who had sex with the heroine’s (Stef) employee, in her own bakery and presumably in front of her! Nope, sorry…this story had potential until that little disgusting nugget of backstory was dispensed. There’s just no way to get that visual out of my head and be able to connect with the H & h as an item now. This is supposed to be a romcom, and that is neither funny nor romantic. Nor is it funny that the hero calls the heroines names like 'queefmonster' and 'Keefecake.'

I bailed at chapter three as the heroine was actually contemplating sleeping with the guy, which I'm sure she eventually does. “Maybe if I hadn’t kept my hoo-hoo under lock and key for so damn long, I would have found it easier to resist him.” For real??? I have no respect for a heroine (especially one who uses words like ‘hoo-hoo’ to describe her vagina) who evidently has no respect for herself if she can overlook a manwhore who’s had sex in her own freaking place of business while it was open and whose bodily fluids she had to clean up to avoid a health dept. shut-down, simply because she’s in a dry spell. No woman should be that hard up for sex. These kinds of presentations of women in fiction, romance fiction at that, should not be happening in 2017. What these heroines need is therapy, not sex. 

So I moved on to give the second story a try…

“Bagels & Brats”
This story features a hero (Peter) who opens the story contemplating a move because he seems to expect the reader to pity him for cheating on his girlfriend and his life turning crappy. He tries to excuse it by claiming he was intimated to stay in the relationship even though they were only teens. I suppose if you can buy a flimsy excuse like that you can also accept the cornball names of this pair—Peter Johnson and Valerie Cooter. Come on? There’s comedy and then there’s 12 year old boy humor. Pretty sure this falls into the later.

I bailed before chapter three on this one after the hero’s friend rolls off with lines like “I’ve done cycled through all the pussy in these parts.”  And when Valerie doesn’t jump at the chance to sleep with Peter, he surmised she must be a lesbian because why else would she not be into his awesomeness?  What an arrogant jerk!

AMAZON US / UK / CA / AU


T. Torrid is a pop-culture junkie, a movie aficionado, and a lover of all things 80s. A lifelong Jersey girl, she currently lives there with her husband and two sons. She also writes romance under the name T. Torrest!

Heather Ohhh is a Cajun girl with a big heart and a passion for romance. Residing with her husband and five sons, she is quite fluent in sarcasm. One spoiled little princess finishes off this brood adding a little drama and sparkle to the mix. Life is chaotic, but she wouldn't have it any other way. She also writes romance under the name Heather M. Orgeron.

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